Sometimes in the midst of the most unimaginable pain, you will find some inner strength and courage somewhere within you. Inner strength you didn't even know you had. I have shed enough tears for a lifetime. Throw a brick at me, it wont kill me. I have been through it all.
Dear reader, I am going to share with you the most painful cruel abuse I ever suffered in this church. Can I share with you the worst day of my life? I'm going to. This blog would not have substance without the "Ambulance Story".
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Wigan at Clifton Community Centre. Normal Sunday service. It was actually a Get Together. People crying as they sing about Walter etc. Church Pastors receiving hundreds of pounds worth of groceries brought by struggling church members. Yes that's part of the doctrine in Agape. Dr Walter Masocha rebukes congregants who don't financially provide for their Envoys (Pastors). The congregation has to look after the leaders...buy them food, give them money and provide transport funds for them, that sort of thing. Every week you are threatened with scriptures so that you are obliged to provide for the pastors! I also want you to know most people in the church are struggling financially without having the strain of being forced to look after the pastors. The single women and the widows are obliged to even do more financially, so that God will reward them with husbands ( anyway that's another blog post for another day).
Back to my story. So on this fateful day at Wigan, church had finished and people were eating, talking gossiping, backbiting, bullying etc, normal behaviour in Agape Church. I had just had enough. It was awful. The pastor bullied me so much. She hated me. Oh did I mention she is my husband's sister. Yes she is. Getrude Musuka. God willing I will sue this Agape Pastor for defamation of character. I have all the documents to prove it too. (In the mean time she's being investigated by the NMC for cruelty and abuse)
Sometimes in life you just get to a point where you say enough is enough. What the heck! I cant do this anymore. I am a human being and I deserve better. Basic human rights. Its not too much to ask right. I want to tell you that I was deprived human rights in Agape. I was stripped off my dignity as a woman and as a mother. I stood up to them, I dared to. A number of events had transpired before this day. I had been having marital problems with my husband due to the strain the church was putting in our lives. To add to the pain, two of my husband's sisters who are members of the church had been bullying me. I had always heard how they used to talk about me behind my back, much of it was driven by the jealousy and envy that I was now in a bit of hierarchy in the church and I was doing the Church Magazine and Performing Arts. I cried to Daddy so many times about my in-laws and how they bullied me and daddy always told me that they were jealous of me because I was talented and I had to stay strong. But the abuse from my in-laws intensified and I a day before the church service I heard my sister in law (who is a pastor of the church) on the phone to my husband advising him to leave me and walk out of the house. I also saw text messages from another sister in law to my husband's phone talking ill about me. Now I had evidence of their abuse. That very night my sister in law came to my house and lied to my face that she had not called my husband to discuss me. I confronted her at home and told her that I had heard everything. You should have seen the look on her face. At this point I knew the war was on. I knew she was now on a mission to plot revenge. The next day in church after service I told her I had had enough of her bullying. My husband was standing next to me. I couldn't do it anymore. To make matters worse my in-laws are the leaders of this church and they were ordained by Dr Masocha. Not only where they leaders, but they are the ones who dragged my husband to Agape, and my husband in turn dragged me there. In fact for me to ever be part of this Church its all down to the Agape Pastor called Gertrude Musuka.
On Sunday 14th of July after Church I confronted her, the pastor Gertrude I mean. I had to. The bullying was just too much. It hurt because she was supposed to be my sister in law, looking after me.I told her I could not cope with the abuse and bullying anymore. She called me "mental". Well she always did that to me for some reason. Gertrude is a mental health nurse by the way just for your own information. So she knows it all, especially about mental health. She then told my husband that I was mentally unwell and he should do "something". She had apparently done her assessment on me. My husband didn't do anything or should I say "something". So she and her mother in front of the whole church and my children did the unthinkable. I looked outside and saw an ambulance, everyone was starring. Fingers were pointing. The paramedics walked towards me, "Are you Jean?" They asked me, looking rather suspicious. I could see everyone was now listening. The atmosphere could be cut with a razor, not knife. "Yes I am Jean, is there a problem?" I asked in confusion. "Well we received a call, they say you need an urgent mental health assessment and in need of sectioning". Even the paramedics where looking at me confused, because I was not acting in the way they expected. You know, I was calm, composed and looked rather shocked at the sudden turn of events. How I managed to stay so composed under such circumstances is beyond me. The "trap" was meant for me to "kick off". But to the Church leaders disappointment, Jean was the most composed woman that day, the tables obviously turned quicker than expected and guess who started kicking off! "Section her!" Take her away!" My mother in law and Pastor Gertrude were yelling. The scene was getting bigger. Every church member was now outside.
"Jean, come with us in the ambulance please". The paramedics said to me politely and sympathetically. Obviously this wasn't easy for them either.
"Mummy! Mummy!" I heard my daughter call out to me as I was taken away in the ambulance. It was the worst moment of my life. I will never forget my daughter's face that day. Even today she so remembers that day as if it was yesterday, and she knows aunty and grandma did that to her mummy. I couldn't cry. I couldn't give them the satisfaction, and no I did not kick off in anger. I did not sob. I did not yell. I just walked confidently to the ambulance, I almost heard Jesus whisper to me that He was with me during this public walk of humiliation and He had done it too on his walk to Calvary, where no one stood by Him. This was a horror moment, but i composed myself. I couldn't understand the amount of hatred my own sister in law and mother in law had for me. The public humiliation. Wow.
I sat in that ambulance as the paramedics talked me through what had just happened. A nightmare on Elm Street I call it. Or a nightmare in Agape rather. The pastor of the church Gertrude had told them that I was an unfit mother. Living in poverty. In need of urgent sectioning. She told them to go home and inspect my house. Please note that on this day she had just received hundreds of pounds worth of groceries from the church members. Her car boot was overloaded with food from peoples sweat and blood, I have video footage to prove the food she received from the congregation that day, yet she wanted my children to be taken away from me because I was living in poverty as she claimed. These were not just any children, these are her nephews and niece, her own brother's children. She chose to tell the paramedics that I was poor and could not feed my children.
You probably wondering what happened next. Did I get sectioned under the mental health act? Of course not. The paramedics told me this was so wrong and an abuse of power. Defamation of character. Public humiliation. They could not believe this was a church to begin with. They sympathised with me and told me they could not possibly section me, simply because I was not mentally ill. They assessed my three children whom Gertrude called poor and malnourished, and found them to be very happy and healthy. So the situation got nasty. The ambulance was not going away with me! The paramedics were not sectioning me. Pastor Gertrude wanted me sectioned right away, so they started threatening the paramedics, Gertrude and the rest of the church leaders, "If you don't section Jean, we will call the police." I know, you are thinking what the...
Yes they did carry out their threat against the paramedics, and called 999. The police came, and you guessed right, they left the scene shocked as I was. This is Agape For All Nations Ministries International. This is all normal behaviour in Agape. The leaders of the church are always calling police, ambulances etc on congregants who say anything to oppose them. Everyone who doesn't believe in Agape is "mental" according to their little books of holiness. People have been sectioned before. But I thank God he fought for me on this fateful day. With the police and paramedics on my side, clearly seeing the serious nature of bullying and abuse in this church, they documented everything for me, and correctly and kindly gave me a copy that evidenced I had been cruelly abused that day.
Now afterwards I was crying, inconsolable. My husband had run away during the ambulance incident, no where to be found. Unprotected and vulnerable I tried ringing my "Daddy" so many times. I wanted to tell him what his leaders had done to me, the public humiliation and bullying. But Daddy didn't pick his phone. At this point I still had all my trust in him, he was still my Daddy. I knew in my heart Daddy was gonna fix it all for me. Of course he would. He was my Daddy. He loved me. I was his special God given daughter. Once I told him all that had happened to me, I knew he would discipline his leaders and even maybe suspend Gertrude from a post as a pastor. That night I cried myself to sleep, holding the document the paramedics had given me, reading it over and over again. Then at about 1am I was up, could not sleep. Tried calling my Daddy again, but, he was not picking up. Then at around 2 am he send me an email, it read....
"Beloved daughter, Jean.
I have just finished going through the magazine. Been reading it almost an hour now. Very beautiful and colourful. Looking very professional too. As you might have expected, I have a few points to bring to your attention for your information and action before you go into print. I shall call you sometime tomorrow (well, later on today!) to discuss. God bless you my dear daughter for the good work you did, and continue to do, for the Lord. I trust that He shall reward you in due course. He always does! Praying for you right away, before I doze off. I am now quite exhausted, but God is my strength. Much love to you.
Daddy vako xxxx"
I want you to know dear reader, that Dr Masocha was fully aware of my anguish, public humiliation and pain of the ambulance incident when he sent me the above email at 2am on Monday 15th June 2013. But for some reason he chose to ignore my calls and texts at the point I ever needed him the most as my "father" and he chose to talk about the "work of God" I was doing for him. A Magazine. You be the judge as you wait for part two of this horrific incident.
Find out in part two the legal implications that infamous ambulance phone call cost Pastor Gertrude. The real person who was behind the ambulance saga and more abuse that followed after.
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